looking back at 2011

what a crazy year! but then I suppose I could say the same for almost every year leading up to 2012. Back in 2009, I recall wishing for it to end just so we could get on with 2010. my anticipation for 2010 was of positive change and wishes for prosperity. I ended up leaving lbc to live in Irvine with the mum who really needed me. and after more than 2 years of resume’ submission in search of a j-o-b, I was finally blessed with one that couldn’t have been a better fit. the only down-side, which I suspected after being hired, was the demographics. Instinctively, I knew that, if for any reason, should the fundip and I ever end, I’d be subjected to working on the same corner as him. but, as I have been paying attention my whole life, all things happen for a reason, and in their time. I am to simply go with the flow. so far, so GREAT!

so, as I suspected, the fundip monday fundays ended with a big bang and he turned out to be not such a great guy. Is that slander? nah! I think it’s just good honest, in your face, DEAL WITH IT kind of information. the job is still fabulous! let’s begin in January because there’s no need to pretend the year never existed. It did. and because it did, I grew and changed. I updated a few lists of mine and have a whole new outlook on things. wants. needs.

lola celebrated ‘40’ this year. valentine’s day meant more to me than it did him. paco’s play house was officially opened and dubbed ‘the inspiration room’. and while this entire major shift was going on with lola’s new house, the inspiration room thumping, relationships ending, friends were experiencing a shift that would be the most life changing of all. {{LIVE}} I celebrated another year of life [yay]. and moved AGAIN! Yep, again. that, I believe, makes twenty-four. two trips to corvallis and planning on many more in my future! we had the vampire weekend, we started the daily FIVE for gratitude, turkey day was a hoot with conversations about cremation and taxidermy and my oldest sharing his idea of being turned into an action figure. nice! and we topped the season off with a hallmark holiday. tis the season of giving and I was so very pleased to see so many who chose to give of their time rather than silly gifts. bless you all! 

to sum up the year, I can’t choose just one word or even one emotion. it was the worst roller coaster ride, I believe, I’ve ever been on. it was hopelessly tragic, hurtful, and emotionally exhausting but the upside was that I was surrounded by all the right people who connected me with new people. I went from sobbing my tears and snot on the bathroom floor to choosing my friends and family as my means of entertainment. I allowed the beginning to begin [so to speak].

for a period there, even while I sobbed, I was approached by people who reminded me that my light was bright. I should never allow the sadness or insecurities of others to extinguish all that brews within me. [this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine]

oregon was a major turning point. I couldn’t have imagined that this trip would unleash so much from inside of me. the packing, the waiting at LAX – tears. the flight. the music – tears. the layover in vegas – tears. seeing her face just when I wanted to break down. my legs, spirit, mind – broken. but for her, my patty, I smiled. I smiled for as long as I could until we walked into her room and the perfume bottle from my past revealed a name which I couldn’t erase and then – tears.

back home, more tears. I looked terrible, I felt terrible. but the people who would reveal themselves – wow! such a surreal moment to have several people; some I’ve known my entire life, others I’ve known for a few years and then some I only met this year, brought me to the greatest of tears with the kindest of words. as arrogant as it might sound to those who have never heard such words or are ‘viv haters’ [cause we all have haters in our lives], it was the most uplifting to have these people tell me of the joy I have brought to their lives each morning with my posts, music and updates. to have people say to me “your light shines bright” – wow! humbling!

as the days passed, my heart grew bigger and stronger. the paths we travel, the challenges we break, they only build us up IF allowed. and there were people, sad, pathetic people whom I have nothing but love for, as they lied, cheated and tried manipulating. then there were the ones who still are having trouble wrapping their head around “viv”, who she is, what she’s doing and why. not many, only a few. but even the greatest of leaders couldn’t reach everyone. and so, I accept that they aren’t for me to lead. and by lead, I mean by example.

big love & shout outs to all of the following people who gave so much of their love and continued support throughout 2011:

mum, dad, mom, yosh, sis nikki, the kids, the ex-jsunday, stella, kir, lola, paco, ava, the guru, anton, blue caterpillar, mr. barry, jennifer bell, d*fox, fred, lisa & cult jam, jenn goat, the benevenia’s, lamb chop & patty cakes, cynthia h designs, micha von doring, jeni & zoey, russy & izzy, all of my readers, my facebook fanpage followers, my loyal twitter followers…..and to anyone I may have forgotten! From the depths of my heart, I wish you all peace & love in the coming year.

the journey

can we skip the next 2 days and just get on with it? I am so excited to get 2012 started. a renewed and better year with so many adventures just waiting at the gate for the gun to go off. there are so many exciting plans that have been stirring that I've kept under wraps for awhile. as I see it, MAJOR CHANGE!

everyday offers a new begging, a fresh start, a way of letting go of yesterday's dirt even if it wasn't so dirty. in fact, my yesterday's for the past few months have been marvi! I'm near certain there were struggles, in fact, I know there were. I can look back even to yesterday and see a few hurtles, but that isn't what I revel in. I revel in the fact that because I have learned to take each day in stride, each step becomes easier as I make that climb to my destination. but then we all know it isn't the destination that brings such joy and growth, but the journey!

on december 26th I took a trek to my favorite coffee spot in long beach, viento y agua and ordered my usual killa tomato on a sun dried tomato bagel with tofuti and my cafe con leche with soy. the music was, as always, perfect! lola and I sat in our favorite corner by the window and were pleasantly surprised to see my favorite patron, bob sinclair. he sings the 'cafe con leche' song and I am PUSHING like crazy to get him to record this little ditty so we can share it here. [bob, you are an amazing person and I am one lucky lady to have been blessed by your presence]

cafe con love!

I THINK I have bob convinced [fingers crossed]

lola & I took a walk through the neighborhood towards a friend's new home. 'congratulations to sara and eric' on their new home!!! while enjoying the perfect day ofter weather, my lil roxy requests a visit to the beach. how do I deny the pleasure on such a gorgeous day? so, after a quick gift exchange with my ava [thank you for the clever gift. I now have the perfect picnic basket for the beach], I headed home to grab up the child, change the shoes and take the camera out.

after a random and quick convo with digum, we decided we'd visit the tide pools at corona del mar off poppy [my favorite street]. I'll allow the photos to speak for t hemselves, but begin with this:

as a child, and even in my twenties, I had the desire to live in this hood off poppy. best street is narcisuss; corner house, white! ocean view, the sound of waves putting me to sleep each night. the grassy area across the street would be my playground. we'd call it 'inspiration knoll'.

 

"we are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came." | JFK

“let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. let your soul take you where you long to be...close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.” | erich fromm

day 364

Day 364 - Holy canoli! What a year its been! No seriously! So many universal shifts! The downs were just there to keep us grounded [so to speak] so that when the next climb came about & we reached the top....WOW! You could appreciate it THAT much more! And all I have is grand appreciation and love and GRATITUDE for every loop, twist, turn, dip, climb and rise to the TOP!
I am ever so grateful to ...the heavens for the alignment with Miss Kir! From the moment we met it was kismet. Seriously! Instantaneous. There was this spark that lit up the space between us even as I was at the bottom of a hill about to make my climb, I was very aware of some super duper love.
I am uber grateful to my pallete for loving the taste of some yum-mee Pho! I have had some pretty spectacular bowls of Pho, but the experience at Cafe Lotus in Newport Beach takes on a whole new meaning which leads me o being grateful to Thuy! She, from the very moment you meet her, is L O V E! Its like that awesome aunt who always had some good eats in the kitchen waiting to warm your tummy. And the staff - my family too! Just a wonderful place to dine so DOIT!
And I am grateful for my pretty little gift - the bag - which myself and Kir left with last night. Such a sweet gesture.
And to you, Gary! We don't know where you came from but wow! Looking forward to more chats soon. See you at SAAW!

cafe lotus

when I moved for the umpteenth time, it was immediately important that we familiarize ourselves with all of our local restaurants and community boutiques. roman's for taco tuesday, lu lu and the hidden jewel for cute fashionable styles, the nursery behind lu lu's, and for some super good pho bo, cafe lotus.

its off old newport road across from hoag hospital. and rather than give up the goods on how spectacular this place really is, we'll just say that this is a [spoiler alert]. thuy, the owner, IS without a doubt, the BEST restaurant owner I have ever met. and if you follow my yelp you know I get out often. pre-yelp days, I was even eating then. I promise you, the moment you are greeted by thuy, you'll feel at home. cafe lotus is HOME.

I met my "my little pony", kir, for dinner this week. where else? cafe lotus with thuy! lovely kir brought me three beautiful, fresh cut roses. reason? she said because she was late. love that! and then she took the paper wrapper from her straw and MADE a paper rose for thuy. of course, she ended up giving it to this very handsome gentleman, gary, who sat beside us. I wonder if he still has his rose? I certainly shall hang onto mine for as long as is possible. very creative, kir! you are a force!

now, aside from the incredible food prepared at cafe lotus and the best service from people who make you feel like family, the energy that fills this space is of the best kind! we laughed, shared and caught up. we chatted it up with thuy about her gluten free buckwheat noodles, slurped our pho bo minus the bo. I enjoyed my hot cafe sua do and pork spring rolls. [close your eyes just there if you're a vegetarian]. but KNOW that if you are a vegetarian and you love vietnamese fare, this is the place to go. I promise you will not be disappointed.

I promise to spoil you after the first of the year with a full write up to show you WHY you need to visit cafe lotus! I should add that I went two days in a row!! yep, its THAT good. swear! [going again on monday!]

love U C U!

corvallis family pt III

day one was obviously one for the records. I'm still laughing at jack who've dubbed jackie bobby. in fact, that's how he's listed in my cell. but for a few hours, there, I couldn't stop calling him "frank" as in stallone!

so, the next morning, friday, we were up and at em'. and by we, I mean myself and patty. we rolled out of bed around 530/6 am. and were planning the morning, breakfast, outfits. we had to look cute while eating the would be untoasted bread we'd get from the nameless diner unworthy of mention. but I'm getting ahead of myself.

patty and I are in her closet going through her sweats and handling hair and face. and from the other side of the door we can hear jackie bobby milling around and mumbling. patty cracks me up. she is SCARED on this side of the door; sweet voice, she says, "jack?!" and there was more banter THROUGH the door because she was NOT unlocking the door until she thought it was safe. jack, who is such a sweet heart, was more concerned about his ear. makes me sad when I think of the intended innocence when pranking him. but when he told us, we STILL didn’t really believe him.

we wore sweats [cyute juicy sweats], scarves, and big poofy winter coats as we made our way out to catch a bite to eat. not like seafood, but just breakfast at a local dive close to jimmy’s shop. every hillbilly in town was there to enjoy breakfast so I thought nothing of the fact that this place might just suck. inside were old, worn, brown vinyl booths with linoleum floors dating back to the 70’s. the wall art was reminiscent of an old horror movie like “the hills have eyes”. It was that outdated. the waitress, bless her heart, was terrible. she took our order and returned several times to fill our cups with java but it took forever to receive the simple meals we’d ordered. the pancakes were like flimsy, rubber frisbees. the coffee was half decent. but the worst part was having ordered eggs over-medium, receiveing eggs slightly runny and longing for lightly toasted sough dough bread to dip in the yoke that never came. it seems their toaster either burned or didn’t toast it at all. now, most would be peeved by this and react quite differently than we did. we, instead, chose to enjoy the company that we were sharing. we laughed about every little current condition that we experienced. it was like the twilight zone.

after ‘break fast’, we darted out, jimmy returned to work and the three of us, patty, jackie bobby and myself, decided to hit the mall. all he cared about in this moment was getting some oregon souvenirs for his kids [and cigarettes]. when I go to our local mall, I drive 3 miles [approx 5-10 min]. I think we drove for 30-40 minutes through some beautiful scenery to get to the mall. the liquid amber trees most definitely keep the eyes occupied.
the mall was quiet and the people were friendly! while patty ran in to say hi to a friend, jackie bobby and I grabbed some coffee from 'big town hero'. the gentleman behind the counter, pat, was too kind. the conversation began with coffee, went to my working for disneyland, to this coffee needs some punch. pat kindly took my advice and re-brewed his coffee using a different measurement and brewed the perfect pot of java. jack saw me work my magic and we made a new friend. if you're ever at heritage mall, tell pat that viv says hi [and thank you!].
at the mall we wandered through a couple of stores and at a popular accessory shop, jackie bobby bought me some super cute bedazzled fingerless gloves [which I keep in my purse] THANKS JACK! our visit to the mall was short lived but worth the trek. we headed home to get ready for the evening's festivities.
family knew I'd be visiting but no one knew jack was here from jersey [joyzee]. the sauce and meatballs prepared the night before were put on the stove top to bubble. pasta was getting prepped and myself and patty had to gather up derek, jimmy's son. I didn't have my camera [again] for this trip because I guess my thought was we're just going to his friend's house. what could be so "wow" about that? we headed down this single lane dirt road lined with bare trees and homes spread pretty far apart. at the end was this grand craftsman style home approximately 7000+ square feet with an infinity pool in the back yard. but it was the majestic forest of tall birch that surrounded this home that was so captivating. and when patty disappeared inside, from the forest, emerged four teenage boys wilding air soft rifles. had I had my finger on my trigger, I'd have shot them! ugh!
we scurried home, got ready, hid jack, who, while hiding, put his chef's coat on and towel over his arm. the first of the family arrived, marie and shawna. marie was soooooo surprised and happy to see her cousin! the "jack!!!!" and "oh my gawd" was great! but the best was the next. while jack hide for the second time, I leaned hard against the front door as josey, whom I haven't seen in 23 or so years tries to push the door open. I stepped away to allow the door to open expecting this surprised face. I go in to hug her and she just looked at me like I was crazy. turns out, patty and I look a LOT alike and josey, PATTY'S blood sister....thought I was patty. ha! but, I got my hug.
we all [but jack] convened in the kitchen/dining room area and then called on the 'butler'. as he emerged from the hallway, he made his way to the kitchen. I suggested that josey ask him for a meatball. freaked out, she refused. jimmy demanded the butler mix her a drink and josey, very concerned about our treatment of this guy, scoots in saying she'd do it herself. with her back to him, he turns to her, walks to stand beside her at which point she FINALLY looks him in the face and then the real freak out began. josey cried, hugged and hugged and laughed. it was so awesome for me to be a part of this little reunion. I truly love this family and now I have jack too. blessed!
once the settling began jack grabbed his prepared dish of spaghetti and meatballs with a tossed salad and the table was set. we ate, we drank and were all most def merry! it was a repeat performance of 'bobby' and jack's strut up the hallway. and after two days of constant stim, viv pooped out quickly.
someone, take that girl h o m e!
thank you to this wonderful, loving family for ALWAYS making me feel like I was a part of it. you mean the world to me!

rooster

corvallis II-jackie bobby