manifesting change

almost 1 year ago, my family made a move to live closer to the place we love the most; the beach. this move being my 23rd or was it my 24th? why even bother counting anymore? I decided after moving that god willing I'd only move again if the residence I was moving to was a home I'd purchased.

one night soon after moving in I had this dream about a house across the back bay. it was this huge white house that backed up to the bay. and what I can place as a timeline was that my roxi girl was about to head off to college. so, it may be safe to assume that the house I dreamt I was living in I would inhabit as she went away. what I couldn't wrap my head around was where this house was. from where I can see or at that time had seen were track homes, condos and the hotel. the only other time besides now had I been through the back bay was while I was in elementary school on a field trip. but that was at the salt creeks. I resigned the dream as a fascination with possibilities and a future far far away.

I grew up coming to these beaches but only lived here for a short minute with a boyfriend back in the 90's. my favorite place to lull my days away is at the beach. the smell of garlic from nearby restaurants and the ocean air are like aphrodisiacs to my senses. so to move within 3.5 miles of what brings peace to my soul was ideal. and then to discover that I am a 15 minute walk to the upper back bay just added to this dream of living in this beach city.

I had found a 'spot' to trek to after a walk through the back bay. it was perfect. I had a grassy patch to rest my weary arse and just look out to the bay and listen as birds sang a song of solitude. the wind blowing through reeds relaxes my mind. perfection was what I found at the 'spot'. but yesterday when I finally got to take lola to see my favorite 'spot', I was greeted by bees. every time we'd approach, they'd buzz and fly at us. we tried twice before just accepting the fact that we were not going to see it. no anger or frustration. just acceptance. I turned away and thought, "must be something better somewhere for us today" and lola had a similar thought that "there must be a better 'spot' for her to appreciate this view.

we'd made plans throughout the week that we would do one of a few things before finally settling on brunch at eat chow and then a visit to the local winery. I'd never been to this winery before. in fact, I didn't even know we had one. my pattycakes had suggested I go to this neighborhood to see about horseback riding but I never followed through. it wasn't at the top of my priority list. I love horses. in fact, I often miss waking up to the sound of my grand father's horses morning greeting. such majestic creatures full of so much grace. you think cats are snobby. have you ever owned a horse?

I drove up the road to where I'd read the winery was located. but didn't see it off the main road. we continued to drive and as I pushed further up the road my heart began to palpitate, my blood rushed and I became a bit light-headed. I couldn't stop saying oh my gawd, oh my gawd, OH MY GAWD.

this was it! I had dreamt about THIS!!!!

first, are the photos taken with my mobile phone because I didn't want to appear like some crazed chick running through town wielding a camera like I was paparazzi.

ahhh....who am I kidding?! I AM the crazed chick running through YOUR town wielding a camera. I'm simply NOT paparazzi. I took these today as mi mum, angel, and I strolled the streets MY FAMILY once resided on. didn't see that coming, did you? that's right! approximately 100 years ago, give or take some decades, an uncle resided on the very street I was now wandering and I felt like I was 'home'.

  

“a house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.” | anon

ojai recharge

since the turn of the new year, I have felt as if my body has drug my spirit into twenty different directions. there was no order, no rhyme, no reason and no solutions found. between tossing ideas around with one friend that I've decided to collaborate with, the moment I lost all consciousness, the crazy troller who chose the wrong girl's bridge to hide under and just all of life's crazy turns, my mind needed a break.

lola & I took an impromptu trek to my favorite valley town of ojai. as soon as I see that first sign directing us towards escape, excitement & peace fill me. I've written so many times about ojai, you should know the journey by now. the one difference was that we stayed at the best resort in town; the 'sky' valley resort. don't try locating it because its exclusive.

rather than write a huge deal about this weekend getaway I will simply say that from the moment we entered the canyon to visit the mineral hot springs, dj lola had my future bff alexandre desilets creating the soundtrack for our drive. and, unfortunately, not all of his music can be located to feed for your enjoyment. however, if you visit his myspace page [click h e r e]  and select alexandre desilets radio from his page, you can peruse these photos and listen at the same time. I promise this bit of work is so worth it! he is worth it. and I should also point out that he is a french canadian performer and sings in the most melodic and dreamy french vocal.

I've chosen to post these and the remaining photos from this weekend's getaway to my fanpage rather than here. this is just a teaser. I hope you enjoy.

“we must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden” | johann wolfgang von goethe 

“shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery -- it recharges by running.” | bill watterson

breaking bread

last week I worked a few hours for digum at the gallery; the avant-garden gallery in the santora, where service is nill and people are scarce mid-week. I took several shots of the artists work being featured coming up for june art walk to fill my time. and when I found that I couldn't play drawsomething [what?] I sat singing like I was having a private karaoke party. the tattoo shop across the hall was blasting great tunes and so I indulged.


a few beats in, cathy from the green door gallery stopped in to say hi. we'd met before but I don't think she remembered. it was 6 years ago when art walk was really just getting on it's feet. I had my camera dangling from my neck and was asked to NOT take any pics please. respectfully, of course I didn't. this was her first impression on me but on this eve, last week, she gave me a whole other side to her.


cathy is this amazing character with so much verve for life. the door of her gallery is red. yes, the gallery name is the green door but she said she did that. . .because she can! she sat in her wheelchair sipping brandy she'd conveniently swiped from her son as he passed by. we chatted about several things but when she and I got on the topic of food she had me. we all know how much I love me some food. and if you didn't then you need to get on board. follow people!


we discussed how important it is to have an open mind about culture and food. she said "breaking bread" is most important when establishing close relationships. I gasped! I even announced, "I'm going to write about this". and I am. . .


when I was about 8 or 9 years old growing up in the mean streets of orange [I lie], we had neighbors move in about 6 house up and across the street. the family had relocated from texas byway of vietnam. it was about 1979 and the vietnam 'war' had only just ended here in america but left a trail of mayhem in its path for those who called it 'home'. so many families escaped to come to america for better lives and that is where this family arrived.


kim, the mom, was the funniest lady ever. she never knocked when she came over. she trusted us that much. my dad had to send a warning that one day she might walk in to find my parents naked on the couch which made my ears bleed. and then inflicted the fear factor that she may even walk in to find a crook or rapist in the house. where the heck he pulled these from was beyond me. try locking your front door!


one day I was sick and stayed home with a cold. kim showed up with a huge bowl of pho. the only other asian food I'd had was americanized chinese. and I didn't try sushi until I was 14. but, hell, this was soup! my granny was so pissed that this 'other' woman was in our home taking care of HER grand daughter. it was classic case possessive and I loved it! and I loved the pho! when kim invited me to eat I always said YES! and I have been a lover of all foods [most] vietnamese.


one of my favorite spots to grab a bowl is at the cafe lotus when close to home and when I'm out east its kimmy pho.

sometime later, a family moved in our neighborhood from iran. they owned a bakery and would bring us baklava. I loved the sticky remains of honey left on my finger tips along with the few flakes from the pastry shell. my parents took the family out often and exposed us to many different cultures. my favorite experience was dining at the french cafe not far from home, le brasserie, where I ordered my first escargot. I was 7. 

when lola and I hooked up, our passion, food! if you wanna hang out with us, you gotta have an open palette and love for food. I could seriously throw a million stories in here about how so many of my relationships began with food. my patty! we met and our first outing [although repulsive now] was a walk to mcdevil's. while we were pregnant we'd bus it to little saigon for some pho. for the period of time I lived with her family I'd go to the italian market with her mom and loved the smell of cheese, salami and fresh bread. and even fundip had a passion for food. his parents having owned one of the best fusion italian/argentine restaurants of its time. dinner with his parents while dating was never dull. 

and I'm one of those people you see out with friends snapping photos of my food. you can make fun all you want but restaurant owners love me for loving their food!

some examples:

"food glorious food do nothing but brood on food, magical food, wonderful food, marvelous food, fabulous food, beautiful food, glorious food....." | oliver twist